To judge is human.
Yet most of our judgements keep us small, and keep our relationships from flourishing.
For the purpose of this post, I’m referring to the useless judgements we make of ourselves, of others and circumstances.
It’s part of the purpose of the human brain. And related to our survival.
Most of our judgments come from fear, past hurts, or trauma, and the limbic part of our brain.
Our minds become engaged in classifying and predicting, in an unconscious effort to stay safe or build our self-worth. (please don’t judge yourself for it).
We can be so quick to judge ourselves and each other.
Constantly declaring things good or bad, and evaluating who is right and wrong is limiting.
It ultimately doesn’t FEEL very good.
It limits our creativity, our curiosity.
And though it’s part of the human condition, we can gain some authority over it.
The antidote is to step into the role of the “observer”.
The more we grow in self-awareness, the more we will grow in our awareness of judgments.
We can develop our observer (mindfulness and meditation help here).
Ideally we trade our judgements in for “blameless discernment”, a skill we can develop.
The skill of discerning, without placing blame, while allowing for mistakes.
It’s meeting ourselves and others with more neutrality.
It comes from a kinder, more loving place.
Instead of reacting, we can actually train our brains to respond with honest clarity, with compassion and empathy.
We can “assess” from a place of curiosity, and choose love over fear.