J is for Judgement

To judge is human. 

For the purpose of this post, I’m referring to the many judgements we make of ourselves, of others and circumstances. 

There is an evolutionary purpose to judging, related to our survival. But most of these judgments of ourselves, others, and circumstances are no longer necessary for our protection. They come from scarcity, fear, anger, past hurts, or trauma.

The mind becomes engaged in classifying, predicting, comparing. It’s an unconscious effort to stay safe, to belong, and/or build our self-worth. (please don’t judge yourself for it). It can show up as rigid thinking, declaring things, or others as good, bad, right, wrong. It ultimately doesn't feel very good. It limits our focus, limits our creativity, dampens our curiosity. 

The antidote is to begin to step into the role of the “observer”. 

And to see into our judgements. 

As we develop our observer, we simply take notice and activate another area of our brain. Mindfulness and meditation are ways we cultivate our observer.

We still have a need to use discernment. We can develop the skill of “ blameless discernment”. This comes from a kinder, more loving place. It’s to assess without needing to make yourself wrong or place blame. 

Positive intelligence research shows we can retrain our brain to quiet our judge. And instead, activate a different area of the brain, a place of curiosity, compassion and empathy.